My amazing Sister – For Lesley

We all experience tough times and the BRIT 2012 mile walk this year is by far the hardest challenge I have had to face. My energy, both physical and mental, has been completely channeled towards this challenge and driving BRIT forward, however suddenly and unexpectedly, this has all been put into perspective.

From my childhood all the way through to now, my family has given me their support and love which has shaped who I am and how I have been able to get through the difficult times.

Lesley and I growing up

Since my injury, my sister, Lesley, has been there for me, despite living a long way away from each other. Lesley is my big sister and her encouragement and support has brought me through my dark times. Our bond is a very special one and Lesley is more than my best friend. It’s very hard to find the words to explain the close relationship we have.

Lesley giving me a hug at the end of the 2009 London Marathon

A few months ago, Lesley was feeling a huge amount of pain and was clearly not well.  Be it sixth sense or just a natural bond between a brother and sister, I felt that things were not right, however it was a shock to hear that Lesley had been diagnosed with lymphatic cancer. I share a very close relationship with the Helen Rollason Cancer Charity and up until Lesley’s diagnosis this had been my only experience of understanding a little about cancer. Having someone so close to me that I love and cherish, made me want to know everything there was to know about cancer so I could understand what this meant.

People often ask who and what drives me forward or inspires me and there are many people and many things. Often though it is meeting young people who are tackling their own tough journeys, however Lesley’s bravery as a mum, wife, daughter and sister has been simply amazing.

I asked Lesley if I could share these words with you as her battle, and coping with such dignity, strength and calmness, may help others who may be experiencing similar, and what can often be, devastating journeys. I am so very proud of my sister. She has protected her children, James and Lucy, and our family, by gently introduced them to the stark facts of what the treatment is and how this will affect her visibly and also both physically and mentally. As a united family of both mine and my brother-in-laws, everyone has worked out their role in Lesley’s journey and help wherever they can. It is easy to be upset and think about the effect of what Lesley is going through on oneself, however, this is about Lesley and making sure that we understand daily how she is feeling, what can be done to help and what can be done to make each day easier.

My experience of having tough days is that I needed people to be happy, to be positive and to help me think of all the good things, rather than dwell on the negatives. This isn’t hiding away from reality, but doing everything to keep positive and turning bad thoughts into good thoughts to get through each day. When Lesley’s chemotherapy treatment started (Lesley has had four and has two more to go) I don’t think anyone knew what to expect. Lesley told us that there may be many side effects including losing her hair and I was so proud when she decided to take control of the situation and rather than wait for the rest of her hair to fall out, have her head shaved. As a brother, it came as no surprise to Lesley that I emailed her a lot of photographs to prove she was still beautiful that included Harry Hill, Homer Simpson and Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Picard!

Not once in all these months has Lesley ever complained. Every telephone call we have is always happy and Lesley, in her selfless, determined and very special way, always talks about others instead of herself, and always asks after me. I know so many people hide how they are feeling and bottle things up, but I think sometimes you have to take some battles full on; you have to talk openly about things with realism, expectations and also share fears. This is where our family has really come together. My brother-in-law, Martez, and my nephew and niece, James and Lucy, have been fantastic. Both James and Lucy have been studying and sitting their exams and have wanted to make their Mum and dad proud; and they have. My Mum and Dad, as well as Martez’s family, have been great and looked after Lesley throughout these past months which has been hard at times, but has given so much support to Lesley.

My close friends have been super too and shown their love and support to my sister and my family for which I am very grateful.

I love my sister more than words could ever explain, and I am so humbled by Lesley’s attitude, determination and selflessness that she continues to maintain throughout this difficult time. Lesley’s support, love, guidance and care for me has brought me through so much and even when her life has been turned upside down, this hasn’t wavered.

When I am asked about inspiration and what gives me strength in my journey, there is a very simple answer - my beautiful and amazing sister.



Lesley and I sharing a very special moment
 at the dinner following my London Marathon in 2009

For more information on Lymphoma, this is the link to the Leukaemia & Lymphoma Research website; http://leukaemialymphomaresearch.org.uk/

For more information on Cancer Advice, this is a fantastic portal website; http://www.canceradvice.co.uk/support-groups/lymphoma-association/

For more information on the Lymphoma Association and their Portal, please click here; http://www.lymphoma.org.uk/

For more information on the Helen Rollason Cancer Charity, please click here; http://www.helenrollason.org.uk/

Phil