I think we have a responsibility to manage the expectations of those we encounter or whose lives are part of our own and who are struggling and coping. Their journeys of adversity may not always be visible and the psychological trauma and difficulties they face are not always easily understood by us or them.My injuries were once more visible than they are now, and it is easy to forget myself or to remind others that on occasion, my own expectations need to be managed. No matter how hard we try to move forward, there will always be emotional scaring and reminders. I am in a very fortunate position now to how I once was, but rather than hide how I feel, am feeling or even once felt, communicating openly certainly makes me see things more clearly and gives me strength to move forward.
For those that have influence over others less fortunate or have the opportunity to change lives or certainly a path someone is on, I would strongly encourage them to manage the expectations of others. We should encourage and support, rather than discourage unless we can improve someone else’s aspiration.
Someone once said to me that it is not about the effect someone has on you, but about the effect you allow someone to have on you. I think they are absolutely right, however on those occasions when the effect is not positive, we are not always alert to those effects until we feel upset, aggrieved or saddened by the situation. I am learning to communicate this and confront others gently and explain the effect they have, however when I think of others, I am thinking more about how we can change this or make others more aware.
In my humble opinion, it is all about positive influencing. We should positively influence the lives of others and on those occasions where we need to be firm, we should manage expectations rather than raise them and then leave someone feeling they have failed or feeling more negative that where they first started.
Someone once said to me that it is not about the effect someone has on you, but about the effect you allow someone to have on you. I think they are absolutely right, however on those occasions when the effect is not positive, we are not always alert to those effects until we feel upset, aggrieved or saddened by the situation. I am learning to communicate this and confront others gently and explain the effect they have, however when I think of others, I am thinking more about how we can change this or make others more aware.In my humble opinion, it is all about positive influencing. We should positively influence the lives of others and on those occasions where we need to be firm, we should manage expectations rather than raise them and then leave someone feeling they have failed or feeling more negative that where they first started.
This is all about someone’s self-belief. I now think about how I can positively influence the lives of others, can reignite their self-belief and their self-confidence. Sometimes more tact, gentleness and encouragement is required, but more than anything, I think taking the time to look at the long-term aspiration of someone is vital; manage their expectations, offer encouragement and leave someone you met feeling better than before they met you. That’s how I intend to encourage others, support others and I hope that’s how others will treat me; if they do, they will give me more strength, more self-belief and ensure I move forward and pay back in the same way.
Phil
Phil