Some great news and then Day 222
- Borders College & leaving Scotland, Day 223 to 230 (West Sussex, London
& Medical Appointments)
I am playing catch up on my blogs
as it has been a hectic week or so, but before I write on the last day of
walking in Scotland to last Saturday, I wanted to share some super news.
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| My beautiful sister, Lesley |
Last Monday will be a day to
remember. I wrote some time ago that my sister, Lesley, was diagnosed with
Lymphoma and 2012 has been a tough year for Lesley and our family. To hear from
Lesley on Monday that she has been told, following all her chemotherapy, that
she is now in remission, is wonderful news.
When I first wrote about Lesley
it felt a little awkward sharing a fight that was not mine. It is a very
personal journey and I am not one to seek or take sympathy well and nor is
Lesley. The reason for sharing what was going on within my family was more so
because of Lesley being such a vital and important person in my life. Whether I
should use the words; role model, inspiration, friend and mentor, I really
don’t know, but Lesley is my big sister and has been there every day I have
needed her (many times when I didn’t think I needed her support) and inaddition
to a brother and sister who love each other unconditionally, it was Lesley’s
bravery as a mum, wife, daughter and sister that gave me so much strength and
admiration for a remarkable lady.
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| Lesley and I growing up |
Lesley allowed me to share the
words I wrote with you as we agreed that her battle, and coping with such
dignity, strength and calmness, may help others who may be experiencing
similar, and what can often be, devastating journeys.
I wrote these words months ago;
“I am so very proud of my
sister. She has protected her children, James and Lucy, and our family,
by gently introducing them to the stark facts of what the treatment is and how
this will affect her visibly and also both physically and mentally. As a united
family of both mine and my brother-in-laws, everyone has worked out their role
in Lesley’s journey and help wherever they can. It is easy to be upset and
think about the effect of what Lesley is going through on oneself, however this
is about Lesley and making sure that we understand daily how she is feeling,
what can be done to help and what can be done to make each day easier.
My experience of having tough
days is that I needed people to be happy, to be positive and to help me think
of all the good things, rather than dwell on the negatives. This isn’t hiding
away from reality, but doing everything to keep positive and turning bad
thoughts into good thoughts to get through each day. When Lesley’s
chemotherapy treatment started (Lesley has had four and has two more to go) I
don’t think anyone knew what to expect. Lesley told us that there may be many
side effects including losing her hair and I was so proud when she decided to
take control of the situation and rather than wait for the rest of her hair to
fall out, have her head shaved. As a brother, it came as no surprise to Lesley
that I emailed her a lot of photographs to prove she was still beautiful that
included Harry Hill, Homer Simpson and Patrick Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc
Picard!
Not once in all these months
has Lesley ever complained. Every telephone call we have is always happy and
Lesley, in her selfless, determined and very special way, always talks about
others, always asks after me and never about her. I know so many people
hide how they are feeling and bottle things up, but I think sometimes you have
to take some battles full on; you have to talk openly about things with
realism, expectations and also share fears. This is where our family has
really come together. My brother-in-law, Martez, and my nephew and niece, James
and Lucy, have been fantastic. Both James and Lucy have been studying and
sitting their exams and have wanted to make their Mum and Dad proud; and they
have. My Mum and Dad, as well as Martez’s family, have been great and
looked after Lesley throughout these past months which has been hard at times,
but has given so much support to Lesley.
My close friends have been
super too and shown their love and support to my sister and my family for which
I am very grateful.
I love my sister more than
words could ever explain, and I am so humbled by Lesley’s attitude,
determination and selflessness that she continues to maintain throughout this
difficult time. Lesley’s support, love, guidance and care for me has
brought me though so much and even when her life has been turned upside down,
this hasn’t wavered. When I am asked about inspiration and what gives me
strength in my journey, there is a very simple answer - my beautiful and
amazing sister”.
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| Lesley and I at dinner after the first London Marathon |
When Lesley rang me to tell me
the news that she was in remission I felt both relieved and fortunate. When I
rang my Mum and Dad, Angela and Mike, I could hear in Mum’s voice the relief
and tension lifting. It has been very tough for Lesley and also for our family,
as I am sure it is for everyone who battles cancer, illnesses and medical
conditions. I must just say though, and this will not come as any surprise,
that my Mum, Angela, has been simply amazing.
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| Lesley looking up at Mum |
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| Me looking up at Mum |
Friends have been superb. Thank
you so much to all my friends who have known when to ring my family, known when
those supportive texts and emails will give a boost to my family and for being
so kind with their words and messages of support. As a family we really are
very lucky.
A few days before finding out
Lesley’s wonderful news, it was Friday 31st August, Day 222 of my
BRIT 2012 mile walk and the last of the thirty five Lord Lieutenancy counties
to walk in to complete my month in Scotland.
For the previous three nights I
had been shown extraordinary kindness from Christian at the Carberry Tower Hotel
http://www.clarenco.com/venues/carberry-tower/about-carberry-tower/
in Mussleburgh, East Lothian. The kindness to support me on my BRIT 2012 mile
walk has been a humbling display of human generosity and with the accommodation
for the walk this year being personally funded, support from hoteliers is
making life so much easier financially.
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| With Rick, Abigail, Helen, Eleanor and Polly who joined me together with Rick's wife, and my great friend, Morag, for a few days in Scotland |
For the last week, I have been
joined on my BRIT walk by Polly, who I met when walking at Chichester College,
and by Helen who is our BRIT photographer. Both Polly and Helen have had tough
times. They were both keen to see what it was like to be out on the road so my
great friends, Rick and Morag, gave their time with their two beautiful
daughters, Eleanor and Abigail, to drive up with Polly and Helen. I continued
to stay in a routine and they all met up with me at my walking locations each
day to support, to take photographs and have a break.
I must say a huge thank you to
Christian at the Carberry Tower Hotel for supporting the “support vehicle” and
for accommodating Rick (to give him some space from the girls – or the other
way round) and for allowing Rick to recharge the motorhome batteries and take
on water for showers and clean running water. It made life so much easier and I
am sincerely grateful to everyone at the Hotel for looking after everyone.
To facilitate their time with me
in Scotland, Michael Ayling, Managing Director of South Downs Motor Caravans http://www.southdownsmotorcaravans.co.uk/
kindly gifted a Motorhome for Rick to drive everyone to Scotland in.
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| Michael Ayling, Managing Director of South Downs Motor Caravans, who has generously gifted his time and his vehicles to support both of my London Marathons, my Three Peaks Challenge for Sport Relief and to enable Polly and Helen to join the BRIT 2012 mile walk in Scotland and give them both a much needed break. |
Michael supported me on both my
London Marathons and the 3 Peaks Challenge for Sport Relief with a Motorhome
which I used as a support vehicle or somewhere to sleep. Michael gifted
his own time or provided a driver. His support and generosity were crucial to all
three of these challenges. As well as being a super supporter of all my
endeavours, Michael has remained a great friend of my family and I. I am
indebted to this selfless and sincere gentleman who continues to help me on my
journey. Michael – thank you so very much!
The welcome from the Borders
College was tremendous.
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| Students at The Borders College welcoming me on Day 222 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk |
After being introduced to students and staff by, I had
the opportunity to talk about BRIT and then answer questions before walking 6
miles with students from many of the courses held at the college.
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| Day 222 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk at the Borders College my final day in Scotland after walking in each of the 35 Lord Lieutenancy counties |
It was a super experience to be
joined by so many students and to listen to their aspirations, discuss my BRIT
vision and ask them for their thoughts.
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| With a mixture of students attending various courses at the Borders College on Day 222 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk |
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| Sharing some good stories with students at the Borders College on Day 222 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk |
I was presented with a jar of the
famous Hawick Balls by their Student Mascot and I am sincerely grateful for the
warmth, friendship and hospitality that everyone showed me during my visit.
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| Listening to students from the Borders College who walked six miles with me on Day 222 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk |
I finished my walk with 585 miles
to go and started my drive back to the south.
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| With the Borders College Student Mascot and students on Day 222 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk |
With a number of rest stops along
the way, I arrived home about nine hours later to surprise my Mum, Angela, who
has been looking after my cottage during August. It was great to see my Mum and
have a catch up; however after spending four hours unpacking the gifted BRIT
Land Rover, I was glad to be able to spend a night in my own bed. It
always takes a while for me to settle after being away, so I spent Saturday
catching up with post and emails.
On Day 223 I took a bit of time
out to say hi to my friends and neighbours at lunchtime before my Dad drove
down so we could have a quiet evening together. Later in the day my great
friends and next door neighbours, Sarah and Ion, came over and we were also
joined by Jeannie, who has been absolutely great at managing my mail and
correspondence.
Mum and Dad left on Day 224 of my
BRIT 2012 mile walk and I started to ease into a routine of being back in West
Sussex and preparing for a busy week ahead. A month away has given me a
lot of time on my own to think about BRIT, our strategy and also my own
personal plans for 2013 and I had arranged a number of key meetings to take
place during the week.
On Day 225 I spent the day in
West Sussex and in addition to walking, used the day to go through all the
clothing and equipment I have used and travelled with. The BRIT Fire
Fighters Jacket was dropped off with Penny, together with all the Scottish Fire
& Rescue Service badges to be sewn on. The washing machine seemed to be on
constantly for 48 hours as everything is cleaned and washed ready for the next
region of walking. I popped into the local surgery briefly and then came back
to walk a little more before the end of the day.
Day 226 of my BRIT 2012 mile walk
was a split between Sussex and London. After a morning in West Sussex I
then travelled up to London to see Richard Thompson, Chairman of Merlin Elite http://www.merlinelite.co.uk/
who looks after my professional life. It was great to see Richard and his team
and to talk through the future plans for 2012 and seek Richard’s advice and
counsel.
After meeting with Richard I then
attended a Medical Examination focusing on my urology issues including Bladder,
Bowel and Sexual Function.
On the morning of Day 227, I met
one of my BRIT Trustees, Darren Whittingham. Darren is co-founder of Start
Judge Gill http://www.startjg.com/
and in addition to gifting his time as a Trustee; Darren has gifted branding
and creative support to BRIT since the very beginning of the charity. It
was super to discuss ideas and thoughts with Darren and for Darren to give me
guidance, support and thoughts on how we move BRIT forward.
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| My dear friend, the late Baron Robert Reiber MM Legion d'Honneur, when he visited Arnhem with me in 2007 |
Robert was a wonderful friend to
me and thinking I will not see him again was at first a shock and of course
upsetting.
I met Robert whilst I was serving
in Chichester and when the Parachute Regimental Association asked to use the
Officer’s Mess as their usual meeting place at the Warrant Officer’s and
Sergeant’s Mess was being used for a separate occasion. It didn’t take
long for Robert and I to form a bond and this may well have been due to my
intrigue of why this immaculate and dashing figure was ordering Gin and Tonics
in a pint glass. The explanation made perfect sense; if someone does offer a
drink, there is clearly more room to add it into a pint glass rather than lose
the offer due to lack of glasses or the occasional memory loss later in the
evening.
Through Robert my relationship
with the Parachute Regimental association grew, and so did our
friendships. My grandfather served in Arnhem and when I mentioned that my
grandmother was very ill, the Association wrote to her and sent flowers to
cheer her up. My grandmother passed away a short time later and my father,
Mike, commented that this display of thoughtfulness and kindness gave her so
much happiness. It was a gesture that our family has never forgotten and I know
Robert was integral to this gesture.
My parents joined me at one of
the Association events at Roussillon Barracks and I was delighted they were
able to meet Robert. I continued to stay in touch with Robert when I was posted
from Chichester. Many years later when I was serving in Germany, I invited
Robert and his wife, Nellie, to a Battlefield Tour I had organised at Arnhem
for the Royal Military Police Company I was commanding. I wanted to ensure that
there was a personal element to the occasion and for them to hear from Veterans
of World War II. It was an unforgettable experience and whilst we respected the
memories and the conflict, we also celebrated and we laughed. It was a perfect
balance.
I remained in touch with Robert
and we talked a great deal wherever I was in the world. Not only had we
bonded, but we always seemed to talk naturally, openly and honestly. I valued
his wisdom immensely and we always laughed at even the dark times and the sad
times.
Since our time in Arnhem,
wherever I have lived, I have had a photograph of Robert on display, wearing
his Regimental Blazer and carrying a replica Tommy Gun with a huge smile on his
face. Next to his framed photograph is the World War II Paratrooper Statue I
was presented by the Chichester Branch of the Parachute Regimental Association,
together with a card from Robert that he wrote to me a long time ago. Furthermore,
Robert slipped me a Business Card into my hand one day before I was posted from
Chichester and on the back he had written a message. I have treasured this
card and his words;
“Pray the sun always shines
upon you, may your heart be filled with happiness forever & may your God go
with you. Robert”.
My life was the richer for
knowing Robert and Nellie. We always found happiness and joy in our
conversations and the times we spent together. It was an honour that I shared
such a wonderful relationship with Robert and that we were friends. There
are very few people in our lives that give unconditional friendship and love,
who embody happiness and living life to the full, and who give so much joy to
others. Robert was one of these rare friends and I will always remember
his sincere and unswerving loyalty, friendship and love.
Last Friday, Day 229 of my BRIT
2012 mile walk, I attended a Medical Examination and assessment in
Aylesbury. It was just short of a three hour session and after covering in
depth questions about my injuries I was feeling quite exhausted.
On leaving, the Doctor said to me
that it was unlikely that we would met again as I would be continuing further
medical examinations at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore.
What he also added, which I feel compelled to share, was his kindness to praise
my efforts and aspirations to support young people. Over recent months and
recent weeks it has hit home more than ever that it doesn’t take very much for
anyone to make someone else feel better. This gentleman did and it was
very hard to contain emotion when it came when I least expected it.
I am in admiration of the medical
services and have the utmost respect for the work they do. For a
professional to have taken the time to show interest in BRIT and I on a
personal level meant a great deal and it was a very special moment for me.
Last Saturday was Day 230 of my BRIT
2012 mile walk and a day to prepare and pack for the next week away. It has
been a very busy seven days with a great deal of emotion. I’m grateful to
my family and friends for their support in what has felt like a tougher week
than usual.
I am now on 534 miles to go.
With best wishes,
Phil